so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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