I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i already hear my dad disowning me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
