I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
