Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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