everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
