so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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