Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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