She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize