If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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