Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
