I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
