First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize