butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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