I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
