I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
