Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
