booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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