I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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