When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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