arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
