But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
