too bad you live with your parents still
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He shit in the fireplace
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
