oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize