try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
