I can tuck mytits in my pants
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
