I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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