This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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