What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
