Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
