i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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