O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
