My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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