what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
operation have a gay friend backfired
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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