I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
