Don't you send me to vm
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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