The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
