Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
