She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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