Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize