i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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