Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
