I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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