Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
