I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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