Kiss
Puke
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
