That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
