So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
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any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
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Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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