I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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