So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
