how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
