Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
