This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
