I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
