he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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