I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
