3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.