I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The feeling are messing with the penis
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
