So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
I'm going to Hell for sure
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
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She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
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We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.