I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet