If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
