you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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