i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
