dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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