When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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