doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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