Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
