The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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