....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize