Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
